Are Things Really That Bad In England?

Yesterday the BBC reported a story where there has been a sharp increase in metal theft. Are things really that bad in England that the only way to make a few quid is to steal the metal slide from the children’s playground? I once laughed when a friend in India told me that the reason all the manhole covers are made from concrete is because people used to steal the metal ones and leave big gaping holes in the road. I remember reading in mild amusement that thieves in Cape Town would steal the electrical cable from the street lights.

Now I’m left wondering what England has come to when thieving robbing bastards will steal the lead lettering off of gravestones, pilfer metal doorknobs and letterboxes from highstreet shops and even make off with 100 year old bronze statues. Suddenly Indian politician Mayawati’s statue protection police force doesn’t look quite as absurd. And for what? Probably to make ten quid to get a haircut! Apparently one 22 year old was left with “horrendous” injuries when he tried to cut through a live electrical wire and was jolted with 22,000 volts of kick-ass karma – and probably did a remarkable Luke Skywalker impression when he was attacked by Emperor Palpatine. Who has to pick up the bill to pay for his surgery? Who has to pick up the bill when he claims for compensation for loss of earnings? And did he get charged for the attempted theft? Did he hell, he got 12 months community service.

Apparently train tracks are the favourite of cretinous scumbags who will steal anything from the signaling cable to the clips that hold the tracks to the sleepers which are kind of important if you are worried about little things like wanting the train to actually stay on the line. With such a disregard for safety where is it actually going to end? Are they going to start removing 5m sections of track so they can have a night out on the town followed by a doner kebab afterwards?

My Dad, who was working on an industrial site during the summer, recounted a tale where the complex suddenly lost power which was odd because there were no power cuts in the area. A scout around the perimeter fence located a very strange event; the heavy duty industrial power cable was mysteriously moving of its own accord back through the fence. Further investigation revealed a band of travelers on the other side heaving the cable through. “Oh” they said in their best Brad Pitt in Snatch accent, “We just saw this lying around and didn’t think it belonged to anyone.”

BBC News - Metal theft: Britain's most annoying crime wave

BBC News – Metal theft: Britain’s most annoying crime wave copper cable theft from a railway line. The result? A total of 108 trains delayed, 17 hours worth of hold-ups for thousands of passengers and damage put at over £80,000.…

5 Comments Are Things Really That Bad In England?

  1. TeaKayB

    My grandparents’ telephone (hence internet) access has been cut off a couple of times in the last six months or so due to copper parts being stolen from the telegraph pole that serves theirs and a handful of their neighbours’ houses. And that’s in a fairly respectable Northamptonshire village.

    1. Peter

      My Internet has been slower than pre-broadband days since I got back to Harborough so I’m wondering if there has been some cable theft in our area or if it’s just Virgin Media being crap as usual. I’m fearing the latter.

  2. Fay

    They need to put in some sort of legislation to prevent scrap metal merchants paying their suppliers in cash…prob the only way to discourage this sort of crime. Metal is worth a lot and is easy to nick, so only thing to do is make the selling on more difficult.

    1. Peter

      Definitely agree with you Fay, but then how do we know for sure that the scrap merchants aren’t being leaned on in some way to make them take the metal? If a gang turns up to offload the copper piping they’ve just ripped out the public toilets and it’s just you in the yard it could be quite difficult to turn it down if you want your business to be there in the morning!

      I saw a sign on a public toilets in Lincoln, it said: No copper piping in this building. I died a little.


Leave A Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *