Just a little fun, no offense meant from this list 🙂 It’s just some of my observations from the last few months of living in Chennai.

1. A Honda or Skoda is considered a premium luxury brand
2. The tuk-tuk driver demands Rs 150 for a trip that you know should cost Rs 70. But you end up taking anyway because you just spent the last ten minutes trying to explain where you want to go to and haven’t the energy to do it all over again
3. Over-taking on a blind bend is considered a skill rather than reckless driving
4. They drive a bus through a gap in the traffic you wouldn’t even take a bike through
5. The correct lane to be in for turning left or right is where ever your car is at the time
6. It is the job of people behind you to get out of the way when reversing and you absolutely should not look out the back window when going backwards (for this reason every vehicle is fitted with some tacky tune that plays whenever it reverses :D)
7. Traffic rules are merely polite suggestions
8. Every other question is about food
9. You’ve put on 10kg of weight since coming out to India and fitting comfortably in to your size 34″ waist jeans is but a distant memory, and someone remarks that you are looking too lean
10. You are laughed at because the girl you happen to think is pretty and attractive is considered to not be fat enough
11. Every successful film is about finding true love and following your heart, but in real life ‘love’ is not enough to justify a marriage
12. Arranged marriages actually start to make some sense as the whole boy meets girl thing is taken care of for you and you can get on with the rest of your life (doesn’t mean you agree with it though!)
13. You can accurately guess the plot of every Indian movie that’s ever been, currently popular and will ever be made simply by stating “boy meets girl and there’s a wedding at the end”
14. You look out the window and it’s day time, you look out the same window five minutes later and it’s pitch black
15. You can make artistic pictures by joining up dot-to-dot style all your mosquito bites
16. Hanging on to the outside of a bus doing 30 MPH mere inches from the massive tyres with one hand and chatting on your cell-phone with the other is considered an acceptable form of commuting to and from work
17. Seat belts are for weenies
18. Motor-cycle helmets are for weenies
19. They simply don’t believe you that the biggest actors and actresses in India are unheard of in the UK outside the Indian community
20. Ditto for the films
21. Cricket actually starts to make some sense!
22. Rice and curry for breakfast isn’t in the least bit unusual
23. It takes 4 guards with whistles to help you reverse out of a parking space
24. It hasn’t rained for 4.6 billion years, but when it does, mother nature attempts to dump the entire Indian ocean in just 2 hours
25. You see another white person in the pub and they suddenly become your best friend
26. Every Indian that you meet in the pub is in the film industry
27. Any Indian reading this light hearted and tongue in cheek article is offended and angry that I should write such a thing 🙂

Got anything else to add?! Let me know! I’ve promised the guys in the office we’ll do a “You Know You’re in England When…” post if they can come up with enough funny suggestions!