What Sort of Facebooker Are You?!

It seems that if you are a 20 something in the UK you can’t have a conversation with someone for more than 5 minutes without the dreaded words Facebook being mentioned.

Since it opened it’s doors to the general public in September 2006 it has seen a wild fire like growth in the UK. I don’t feel as if MySpace ever really cracked the 2nd generation of internet users (people that came online around 1995 – 2000), certainly amongst my circle of friends MySpace was never mentioned. With the garish profile pages, unreadable fonts and eyewatering backgrounds it was something that I feel appealed more to the teenagers than us college grads (being the sophisticated grownups dontcherknow).

Now here we are, July 2007, not even a year after Facebook opened it’s doors to the general public and I think 70% of my year group from high school is registered and a fair amount of people from my university. Most of my mates from back home have a profile and it’s growing day by day. Considering that there are were an estimated 1.3 million UK users in March 2007, I reckon there must be 2 million or more now.

So, with the meteoric rise of Facebook, certain types of users have emerged, which one are you?

Addicted Facebooker
I’m going to be slightly controversial here and say the majority of addicts are the female of the species. You can spot an addicted facebooker by the following characteristics…

1. They actively upload tonnes of photos every week
2. They actively tag photos, even of other people in photos
3. They post comments on photos
4. They are a member of more than 5 groups
5. They update their status virtually every day
6. They write on someones wall daily
7. The time between you writing on someones wall and them replying can be measured in nano seconds
8. They install every plugin going
9. If you meet them in real life all they talk about is facebook

Addicts are fairly easy to spot. Most of the time they will be self confessed addicts. It’s not big and it’s not clever…get some help!

Lurking Facebooker
The lurker facebooker in my experience is mostly the guys on there. Mainly you are on facebook because everyone else is but you don’t contribute much, rarely write on anyones wall or request a friendship.

You can spot a lurker by the following tell-tale signs…

1. You request a friendship and it’s approved, you then write on their wall but don’t get anything back
2. You tag a photo of the lurker and add an amusing comment but don’t get any retort
3. Their status is rarely updated, or probably still the default one
4. You edit the details on how you know the person and it’s approved
5. They have a fair amount of friends, but they don’t seem to post on anyones wall or be a member of anyones group.
6. They never upload photo’s

Basically a Facebook lurker visits the site fairly regularly, approves friendship requests but does very little else. It is possible a lurker might also fall in to the next catagory of Facebookers, The…

Facebook Voyeurs
I think anyone on Facebook would fall in to this catagory of user at least partially. It’s difficult to tell a facebook voyeur but they may have some of the characteristics of the lurker.

The voyeurs primary reason for visiting facebook is to find out what other people are writing on your friends walls, going through photo albums sorting out who’s hot and who’s not and generally snooping around to find out what other people are up to and more importantly are they doing better in life than you?!

Ex-MySpace Facebooker
Recognisable from their inhuman desire to pimp out their profile page with every gadget and gizmo going, their unrelenting quest to annihilate the English language with ‘street speak’ whenever they write on a wall, their personal details and interests section is a mile long and they are generally under the age of 20.

Anti Facebooker
These people, for reasons best known to themselves and maybe for no other reason than to not be part of the crowd, are dead set against Facebook and everything it stands for. I have a few friends that are like that and I’m trying to think of some characteristics that they have in common in their united hatred of Facebook.

Mostly Anti Facebookers don’t like to follow the crowd, like to feel that they are individual and unique. In the end though, the might of facebook will knock down their resistance and they will become one of us. Another sheeple in the global social empire.

Have I missed any types of Facebooker? Let me know!

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2 Comments What Sort of Facebooker Are You?!

  1. H Fielder

    Well my man. Quite a site you have here. How are things with your new place?

    I think we need an article on the pros and cons of not telling your significant other about your facebook account. I think there will be a number of people out there who have tried it as a solo venture only to find the situation hijacked by their partner’s friends etc!


  2. admin

    Two more facebooker groups have been identified…namely:

    Closet Facebooker
    The classic closet facebooker is one who publicly detests facebook (see anti-facebooker) and roll their eyes whenever it is mentioned, but secretly they will check out what their mates are up to and check out the latest photos via someone elses account. It is only a matter of time closet facebookers. You will have to come out sooner or later.

    Facebook Conspiracy
    This was a new one to me. These people refuse to create an account on Facebook due to the paranoid belief that it’s actually a Government conspiracy to track and log everyone’s movements and personal details around the globe.

    Facebook conspiracy believers are known to smoke large quantities of cannabis.


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