This post is in part inspired by one of the interns working at Agriya, he rides around Chennai on a scooter (clearly the heat has got to him, is he mad?!) and written about his experiences here.

So, it has inspired me to tell you all about the Chennai traffic rules.

First off, there are basically two official ways of getting a driving license in India:

• For those that don’t want to learn how to read, you take a practical driving test
• For those that don’t want to learn how to drive, you take a theoretical test

Incidentally there is a third, and far more popular method of “who needs a license?”.

Anyway, intrigued by what it takes to pass the theoretical test so I can get a license in Chennai, I did some digging and asked around.

After much hunting, I finally managed to get my hands on the answers to Chennai’s driving test. I’m putting it up here for you all to see, but I don’t know how long I can keep it up here for, they may demand that I remove it tomorrow.

Chennai Theoretical Driving Test Answers

1. What is the speed limit in built up areas?

As fast as your vehicle can go

 
2. When turning left, what procedure should you use?

Lean your elbow on the horn and look straight ahead
 
3. When you have missed your turning, what action should you take?

Conduct an emergency stop and put the car in to reverse. Ensure that you look straight ahead while leaning one elbow on the horn
 
4. When is it not appropriate to use your horn?

Trick question. It is always appropriate to use your horn
 
5. When you wish to pass a vehicle, what procedure do you follow?

Get as close to the vehicle as possible and lean your elbow on the horn,then decide whether you have enough room to pass to the left or the right
 
6. A vehicle behind you wishes to pass you, what do you do?

Lean your elbow on the horn
 
7. You wish to overtake on a blind bend, what procedures must you follow?

Lean your elbow on the horn and try and go out as far as you can in to the oncoming lane to see if anything is coming
 
8. What does a red traffic light signify?

Check for cops, lean your elbow on the horn and start edging out until you think you can make it across
 
9. What is the correct procedure for turning right at a busy junction?

Lean your elbow on the horn, and speed up to turn right as fast as possible
 
10. What is the correct gear to pull off in?

Second gear, while leaning your elbow on the horn
 
11. When lost, what procedure should you follow?

Lean your elbow on the horn, set your speed to 30mph, pull up along side an auto driving, lean across and wind down the passenger window and ask for directions. Ensure your right elbow is pressed against the horn at all times while gesturing with your left hand.
 
12. You see a girl walking down the street wearing jeans, what do you do?

Lean your elbow on the horn and stare at her until you can no longer see her out of your rear window
 
13. What is the purpose of the rear view mirror?

To hang CD’s from
 
14. Where is the correct place for the ornamental tissue box?

The parcel shelf
 
15. What is it important to remember while reversing?

Lean your elbow on the horn and look straight ahead so you can see where others are going
 
16. You notice that the tread on one of your tyres is completely bald. What urgent action do you take?

Check to make sure your horn is working
 
17. Who has right of way at a junction?

Whoever has the loudest horn
 
18. Everyone who is turning right at the junction is blocking the road ahead. You want to turn left. What should you do?

Lean your elbow on the horn, and drive slowly along the pavement
 
19. At night time, what two things is it important to remember?

Sound your horn every 10 seconds and set your lights to full beam so on-coming traffic can hear you and you can see them
 
20. You discover that your horn is broken, what do you do?

Take the bus to work

As I said, these answers are top secret, and I could be found out at any time. To any Chennaites reading this, I hope it serves you well and good luck with your test!